Wow, I suck at this.

I started back in of September, and I've blogged twice...one of which went AWOL somewhere. And, to be honest, I have weights all over the target. Clothed weight, un-clothed (I know: now you need eye-bleach. TRUST me, I have mirrors, and *I* need eye-bleach.)

Short recap: I went to my VA doc, and she said  "254 pounds is...the heaviest I've seen you. And your triglycerides are a mess. Would you like to try the VA 'MOVE' Program? See the Nutritionist on TeleConference?"

Done them both, I have. "MOVE," TeleConference. I'm MARRIED to a Diet Tech (registered) and read her school books for fun, sometimes. I KNOW the rules. I KNOW the guidelines. I've watched Dr Phil's weight-management programs, Dr Oz's weight-management programs. "Less calories in than you burn, no eating after xx:00, more protein, more fiber, no inane snacking, no mindless, TV-watching meals, olive oil is a condiment, not a food group, no added sugar..."

Yada. Yada. Yada. All those bleedin' words meant NOTHING. Nothing. Bending over to tie my shoes and gasping for breath before I got one bunny-ear wrapped around t'other didn't do it. Looking up the few steps from the main floor to our upstairs as if it were Annapurna in a blistering snowstorm didn't do it.

I am the FATTEST I'VE EVER BEEN. EVER.

"254#" did it. Especially when the actuary charts say I'm supposed to weigh 170.

Now, in (vaguely) recent memory, I HAVE weighed as little as 185 pounds. Really; I was working at WENY Radio in Horseheads, NY. I was working nights, telemarketing. I was working nights and weekends as a clown (Yet another story, for another day.) I was living on cigarettes, coffee, happy meals and fruit. Do you see, in that list, anything that screams, shouts, states or even whimpers "I'm taking CARE of myself?" I don't. Oh...the fruit, sure, but not the fast food, not the smokes, not the gallons of coffee (or Mountain Dew)... Isaac Bashevis Singer once wrote "A man does himself more harm than ten of his enemies." In my case, make that "Twenty enemies."

So, I sat through Group that day, after Freesia (my VA physician) gave me that "LOOK" doctors have when the news isn't the best, and moped. I came home and got all weepy with Dawn, my wonderful, beautiful Princess. She asked (as a very good recovery friend once asked) "Are you ready to get serious?"

So, I downloaded MyFitnessPal. I bought a Garmin VivoSmart HR+tracker. And I tied into this thing. That afternoon I did a little walk. The next day I went farther. Then, I loaded a playlist of "Quickstep" songs. And went farther. And I tracked my food. And I modified my goals.

I stepped on the scale yesterday at the rheumatologist's office. I'd worn the same jeans, same shirt, same shoes, same suspenders (Red Green, "If the women don't find you handsome, at LEAST let them find you handy" suspenders.) Remember, I'd weighed 254. I looked at the scale, yesterday, and it read...

...240.
Which means I've lost fourteen pounds.
I've ditched almost three bags of flour.
Or three and a half bags of sugar.
Or 14 boxes of spaghetti.
Or 8 dozen large eggs.
Or 9.3 bags of Twizzler Twists.

I have to tell you, walking with both osteoarthritis and rheumatoid (psoriatic) arthritis, pain management is a bit of a job. One medication I can use (but shouldn't, because of the methotrexate injections) helps. Another I'd like to try (but can't) is illegal. WTH? Non-THC, hemp-based CBD shows promise, but is proscribed by law. So...I walk. Sometimes, almost "powerfully." Sometimes, "with vigor." But I need a serious recovery time, post-activity. Somewhere down the road, I'm looking at an inevitable surgery for the removal of an artificial joint, but we're not going to worry about that, are we? Because just the recovery/therapy time is like, six months. Bone grafts from one site to another, blah-blah-blah...I'm just a bit busy right now. And I can ignore all that. I have Gold Passes to Kings Island, and an eight year old little boy and beautiful wife to run with! PRIORITIES, man!

As a recap, let's just list the steps I've taken:

1: I track my food. I weigh the pro/con of "this" vs "that.

2: I have added, since September 28, 2018, ONE AND ONE THIRD TEASPOONS of sugar to my coffee. That's one half teaspoon to each of four cups of coffee. That, down from a HEAPING teaspoon (max angle of repose, BTW) per cup. Two to three cups per day. And they're saying "one teaspoon of sugar..." Mine? At least 2, bringing a 5-calorie cup to 32 calories. Let's do some math:

3 (assumed cups of coffee/day) x 32 x 7 days/week=672 calories. Per week.
672 calories/week x 52 weeks = 34,944 calories per year. Say 35,000.

It's hypothesized that one need burn (or omit) 3,500 calories to lose a pound of fat. Eliminating my ladle of sugar from my java is equivalent to a gradual ten-pound LOSS in fat per annum.

3: I (a) try to walk five times/week and (b) get 7,000 steps/day.

4: I assign it all to God. There's this thing called "stewardship." Not just money;
not just property; Stewardship of self is maybe the most important stewardship we can practice. I mean, if our bodies fail, we're not going to be able to take care of the stuff around us, eh? If we're healthy, we don't have illness/injury/infirmity to distract us from bill-paying, employment (unless you're retired, in which case you do what work you do around the house) home maintenance, getting the kids onto/off of the bus, etc. Every activity can be preceded with prayer. Every activity can be followed by prayer. We can pray while we're doing stuff.  As an aside, as you lift your heart to God, offering your energies and sweat and pain (weakness leaving the body) to Him, you stand taller. Stronger. Straighter.

I'm just saying what works for me. And, fourteen pounds in 26 days means I was one *fat* boy; I AM one fat boy. I have a way to go. I need not only cardio...and more OF it...but weight training and flexibility training. As I'd learned back when I started my AA journey: One day at a time. My wife inspires me. Our daughter Meghan inspires me. My niece Jennifer inspires me. And then there's always Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things, through Christ, who is in me." What CAN'T I do? HOO-ah!

Be well; practice peace; see y'all at the next one.