Hey; how was YOUR week? No, really, I'd like to hear.

Too often, I'm over-engaged with how *I'm* doing, what *I'm* feeling. I forget that I have two ears and only ONE mouth for a reason. It would be nice to hear from you, my readers, once in a while. Truth be told, it's been a turbulent month; some personal issues, some church issues, and, in full accordance with my addictive nature, I internalize and have the tendency to flip my $#!t, all up inside my head. And, while sticking to my allotted 2,000 calories/day (plus extra exercise-earned ones) I've noticed that I binge-eat the last calories of the day. So, a little distracting news would be nice. 

I was at a Big Book meeting a while ago, and, inspired by the show of hands of those "willing and able to sponsor a fellow sufferer," I approached a gentleman in regards to my program. We hit it off well. I began, in earnest, to read both the 12 and 12, and the Big Book. I began to read and consider the Little Red Book. It was made glaringly clear that the troubles I'd been internalizing are not my fault, not my circus, not my monkeys. God has granted me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Now, it's up to me to embrace that serenity, courage and wisdom, and the only way I can do that is through constant contact with AA, my sponsor and my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

 I recently suggested that someone I know check out the Tables; not make any admissions of powerlessness, just listen. Give it a week...a month...a season? If nothing else, the Steps and Traditions are a pretty good set of rules by which to live. I was told that the Program doesn't work. Maybe I misunderstood what was said. Maybe the heated quality of the conversation changed the way the words sounded. But I heard "It just doesn't work." I was saddened. Almost to tears. As if I'd been called a liar. But then I remembered what Julie P once told me: "When the time isn't right, nothing you can say is helpful. When the time IS right, anything you can say will be helpful."

I guess I have to wait until the right time. Meanwhile, I work all my programs, all my addiction recovery efforts the same way. I keep telling myself that "If I stray, I'll die." Oh, to be sure, I'm headed toward a dirt-nap someday. We all are. But I can control (to some degree) whether it's with dignity or ignominy. I can die sober, or I can clean. I can die straight, or high. I can die of any of a bazillion ineluctable causes, or I can die from morbid obesity. I'll hedge on the side of "ineluctability." Way less predictable, way more fun. 

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I don't know whether I mentioned it before or not, but if you're vegan, Kroger has a swell couple of vegan protein powders for us. They come in chocolate (EXCELLENT when blended with a banana and a pinch of cinnamon) and vanilla (also excellent with a banana, and/or some frozen berries.) They're sold in the Supplements section, with the rest of the milk-based protein powders. It's important to maintain proper nutrition while in the weight-loss process. If you exercise and don't replace protein, your body will cannibalize your muscle mass, and thereby weaken you. Also, you'll cannibalize calcium stores. Work with your family doctor (I work with my civilian MD, my VA MD and two rheumatologists to make sure my body isn't going into a flat spin.)

No official 5K's this week. I have done one unofficial one, walking the track at the Coffman Family YMCA (it IS fun to play at the YMCA!) and a couple 2-milers on the track, as well. We even went out to dinner with some super friends, Pam and Rick, and I ate like there was a feedbag on my face. Still, when I stepped on the scale this week, I'd lost. As a matter of fact, I had lunch out with my sponsor, too, and was a little surprised that I'd lost weight this week. Here: have a look.      

Down another 1.2#, for a total of 29.3#.

This keeps up, I'll have lost over thirty pounds by Christmas. I called my Mom this week, back in Connecticut. She got to telling me, every time I showed up, "Please! If you love me, PLEASE, Darling, lose that belly fat! Your heart...oh, what it's doing to your heart." Well, ladies and gents, the SHOCK in her voice when I was able to tell her that I was down almost thirty pounds! Oh, the happiness. She lost one son to heart disease; she needn't lose another. How nice it was to make my Mom that happy. 

So, that's it from the little tri-level in the country. If something here inspires you, run with it. If it angers you, let me know why. If I was going to gently suggest any takeaways, they would be: 

1) Don't internalize. SHARE. 

2) Pray (The Serenity Prayer works well)

3) Anything you do to change for the better is positivity in motion

Questions? Comments? Exhortations? Bring them on! I'd love to hear from you. And...

Be well; practice peace; I'll see you at the next one.